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Hay una chica que me gusta, pero tiene novio, aunque siento que quiere estar conmigo ¿qué sucede?, ¿quiero saber que está pasando?
¿Acaso es un complot de la vida para verte infeliz?, o ¿qué es lo que
sucede?, porque justo cuando conoces a la persona ideal para ti, el timing no
es bueno, y esa persona ya está con alguien más, sin embargo, hay algunas
pistas que te hacen pensar que tienes una oportunidad, entonces ¿qué pasa?, es
realidad lo que sientes o son simplemente son las ganas de que te correspondan
de la misma manera.
Déjame decirte, primero que nada, que estar enganchado
con alguien que no es soltero, (en matrimonio o noviazgo), desgraciadamente esa
experiencia es súper común, y a todos nos ha pasado una vez en la vida, o hasta
más, en la que, conoces a la persona perfecta, esa persona que te hace vibrar
la piel y el esqueleto, esa persona que estuviste buscando por tanto tiempo, el
problema: no es soltera y lo peor, la forma en la que conoces a esta persona te
hace sentir que puede pasar algo pronto.
Realmente no debes sentirte mal, frustrado o como una mala
persona, pasa mucho, sobre todo cuando nos dejamos llevar por los sentimientos,
y no eres la única persona a la que le ha pasado.
Hoy llego a mi buzón de la Dra. Corazón, (o sea yo, pues),
un mail de un desesperado confundido que desea urgentemente ayuda:
¿Qué hacer cuando la chica que me gusta tiene novio?
Querida Yes, este es mi problema
Hay una chica que me encanta, pero tiene novio.
Entre ella y yo nos llevamos muy bien, la invito a comer, a
pasear, al cine, en fin, salimos mucho, y en esas salidas tuvimos algo muy
extraño, o yo siento que algo fuera de lo común paso.
Todo esto empezó porque ella me gustaba, así empezamos a ser
amigos hasta que un día me atreví a decirle, por mensaje, que me gustaba mucho;
cosa de la cual ahora me arrepiento mucho, pues ella me dijo que no me veía de
la misma manera.
En fin, le seguí hablando, porque yo en verdad apreciaba a
esa chica, pero, después me enteré que se besaba con otro, y yo no quería entenderlo
así que seguí intentándolo con ella hablándole e insistiéndole a que lo
intentara conmigo.
Igual me arrepiento porque después me enteré que si quería en
algún punto estar conmigo, pero no sé qué pasó, tal vez mi insistencia la
asusto, tal vez por eso se arrepintió y pues ya no quiso.
Pero finalmente me entere por uno de sus amigos que ella
estaba saliendo formalmente con un chico. Esto lo tome como una llamada de
alerta para olvidarme de ella; pero, el problema es que hemos retomado nuestra
amistad y hablamos todo el tiempo por mensaje y en ocasiones nos vemos; esto ha
hecho que resurjan esos sentimientos y cada que la veo, quiero decirle todo lo
que siento, pero tengo miedo de que vuelva a suceder lo mismo, y tengo más
miedo porque ella tiene novio, del cual nunca me hablo.
Creo que ya solo me deja con la duda y siento que a veces
decide pasar tiempo conmigo, cuando la situación es mala con su chico, o no le
presta la atención que ella desea, y como yo si lo hago, es en ese momento
cuando interactúa conmigo.
Ella me gusta mucho, tenemos más de un año de conocernos, y
siento que cada vez mis sentimientos son más fuertes, pero no sé qué hacer.
¡Ayúdame Yes!
Oh, querido amigo confundido en el amor, creo que estas
frente a la disyuntiva más común a la cual nos enfrentamos las personas en
estos tiempos modernos, estar atrapados en el limbo de un “pronto” o “tal vez”.
De alguna manera esa experiencia que vives, es como estar en
la banca emocional de este cruel juego deportivo que llamamos amor, y siempre seremos suplentes hasta
que esa persona que nos gusta, decida escogernos y darnos una oportunidad para
jugar en las grandes ligas como titular; aunque lamentablemente cuando estas en
esta situación, siempre, siempre, siempre, siempre, siempre, siempre, siempre, en
serio SIEMPRE, la vas a hacer de suplente, para entrar al quite durante “5
minutos de fama”, solo 5 MINUTOS, cuando el titular no este de ánimos para
calentar.
Bien, porque uso metáforas deportivas, bueno, para que
entendamos eso, cuando una persona está en una relación romántica previa, y por
estupidez propia decidimos entrarle, ese es, verdaderamente el Manifiesto Abierto a la Estupidez Humana,
el momento exacto en el que le entramos al juego con alguien que nos trata de
suplementes dejándonos en la banca emocional congelados, esperando, sin tomar
otras oportunidades, solo esperando, hasta que cuando esa persona necesita que
le calienten el alma y el cuerpo nos llama a jugar.
¿Eso buscamos?, ¿eso es lo que merecemos en esta vida?, 5
putos minutos de atención de alguien caprichoso, o bipolar, que un momento nos
quiere y en otro nos desecha, ¿eso es lo mejor que podemos esperar?
Bueno, la respuesta a esas preguntas las da cada persona,
valorándose y amándose así mismo.
Bien, hemos escuchado mucho de forma cursi, que para amar
hay que amarse uno primero; esto en la práctica significa el amor propio, ese
que nos cuida y dice basta, cuando alguien más quiere usarnos de esa manera.
Eso es en forma práctica a lo que se refiere esa cursi y
trillada frase, en pocas palabras, la única manera en la que encontraremos a
alguien que valga la pena amar, sucederá en el momento en el que nos respetemos
y amemos primero a nosotros.
En serio, nadie te va a amar, o no como lo mereces, si no te amas primero tú.
Así que, la cosa no es si la amas a ella, la cosa es si
te amas a ti mismo tanto como para respetarte como lo mereces y ser lo
suficiente maduro para dejar ir a quien no te hace caso, a quien solo te tiene
en la banca emocional.
Ahí es dónde verdaderamente radica la respuesta a tu
dilema, y es que tanto te amas, para seguir en ese limbo desastrosos y
desesperanzador, o seguir con tu vida buscando a alguien que valga la pena,
alguien para quien seas el #1, alguien para el que seas el verdadero titular
emocional, a alguien que vea en ti todo el potencial que tienes para estar a tu
lado, alguien que te vea de la misma manera que tú la ves a ella.
Finalmente, la única persona que puede decirnos qué es lo que va a pasar, ese eres tú.
Bloguera de hueso colorado desde el 2008. Porqué siempre hay algo que decir yes@elblogdeyes.com
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