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Nada más emocionante que una primera cita, esos nerviosismos iniciales, las expectativas, la emoción, la adrenalina que tienes por salir con alguien que te gusta mucho pueden hacer que seas algo torpe y tengas un par de tropiezos; normalmente una primera cita lejos de aquella idea nacida de las películas amorosas que es algo mágico y sublime, normalmente son tropiezos, risas, nerviosismos y miedos, tanto para ellos como para nosotras.
Nunca estaremos en completo control de una cita, y mucho menos la primera cita, la primera vez que sales con alguien que no conoces mucho, que no sabes cómo reacciona positivamente o de forma negativa. Cuando estas en una primera cita todo puede salir mal y muy pocas cosas bien, no importa que te creas totalmente experimentado o experimentada, cada persona es diferente y como te digo, no la conoces, no sabes si se siente a gusto, si está emocionada, o si le molesto alguno de tus comentarios; si bien, tienes que estar atengo a sus gestos y reacciones, normalmente saber cómo te va en una primera cita es muy difícil. Lo único que puedes hacer es tratar de controlar tus miedos, el nerviosismo y la impaciencia que pueda apresurarte a cosas extremas, y por cosas extremas me refiero a querer dar un beso antes de tiempo, que te pongas nervioso con eso de quien paga la cuenta, tener temas para platicar, saber que decir, como romper los silencios incomodos, y principalmente no permitir que tu nerviosismo te haga decir o hacer cosas inapropiadas o molestas.
Los nervios pueden ser un gran aliado, pero también tu peor enemigo y que una persona, en este caso tu cita, tenga una muy mala opinión de ti por algún comentario que hiciste en función de que estabas nervioso o nerviosa.
Qué hacer en una primera cita, y por supuesto que no hacer
Por principio evita los nervios, ya se, es muy difícil pero no dejes que ellos te dominen al grado que no puedas disfrutar esta experiencia, se tú mismo, se natural, se espontanea, disfruta este momento que seguramente recordarás mucho tiempo; en vez de sufrir la compañía de alguien que te pone muy nervioso, mejor disfrútalo, no te vaya a pasar como a mí en una cita con un chico que me gustaba mucho que solo podía reír de nervios, y eso de temblar por culpa de este reflejo natural no hará que la situación mejore y al contrario te pondrás en una situación de desventaja, en la que la otra persona sabrá que tiene mucho poder sobre ti. Por lo que debes encontrar un equilibrio entre cercanía y distancia, nerviosismos y relajación, parece contradictorio o tal vez muy difícil, pero todo se resume a encontrar un equilibrio.
Temas de conversación:
Pueden hablar sobre hobbies, música, intereses, trabajo, amigos, y hasta relaciones superficiales con tu familia, procura encontrar un tema en común para que surja la plática, pero eso sí, nunca te enfoques en yo esto, yo aquello, yo hago, yo creo, eso hace que la otra persona pierda el interés por ti, lejos de acrecentarlo, mejor pregunta sobre lo que la otra persona, hace, piensa o cree.
Las cosas que nunca debes hablar en una primera cita es dinero, nunca le preguntes cuánto gana, sobre sus exparejas, cosas como matrimonio, política o religión están fuera de la mesa, piénsalo un poco e incluso estos temas incomodan a tus amigos, ahora imagina a alguien que acabas de conocer. Estar nervioso es una cosa, pero incomodar a alguien con algo que dices es totalmente opuesto.
También ten mucho cuidado en eso de mentir para salir del paso, eventualmente te van a caer, además recuerda ser positivo, estar con una persona que siempre se queja de su familia o el trabajo, puede llegar a ser molesto.
En las citas tienes que tener mucho cuidado sobre lo que haces o dices, a veces cuando estas nervioso o nerviosa puedes querer recurrir al celular que es un sitio seguro para relajarte, pero esto puede ser considerado como falta de atención o poco interés, también es muy mala idea que si estas con alguien que te gusta menciones lo guapa que esta la camarera o que el bartender es irresistible, eso está fatal, porque dices de manera muy directa no te voy a tomar en serio.
Pero lo que más ayuda para evitar los nerviosismos de una primera cita, es que vayas sin expectativas, solo ve con la intención de divertirte y pasar un buen rato. Eso ayuda a eliminar el stress y las presiones sobre esta cita.
Bloguera de hueso colorado desde el 2008. Porqué siempre hay algo que decir yes@elblogdeyes.com
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