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Es súper frustrante el hecho que cuando se te hizo tarde todo sale mal y nada está en su lugar, definitivamente todo está perdido o se fue a la dimensión desconocida; tal vez sea una de las muchas leyes de Murphy o simples reglas básicas de la vida, pero cuando tienes que salir corriendo porque se te hizo tarde tienes que pelearte buscando las llaves, el celular o hasta el pinche paraguas.
¿Dónde está el puto paraguas?, dónde, chingaos dónde lo deje o quien chingaos me lo escondió.
¡Mamá, ayúdame el pinche paraguas está en Narnia y si no lo encuentro no voy a salir!
De esas veces que tienes mucha prisa, no encuentras nada y solo puedes ponerte a decir muchas pinches groserías, tal vez les pase como a los fantasmas y tanta grosería los haga reaccionar y aparecer, o tal vez desaparezcan más, pero en esto de las cosas perdidas cuando tienes que salir corriendo a toda prisa tengo diferentes tipos de teorías las cuales incluyen un complot familiar encabezado por mis padres para que no salga de la casa, auto sabotaje propio o incluso una criatura mágica onda gnomo que habita mi casa y me esconde las cosas.
Que por cierto me pregunto porque un adulto racional cada que pasan cosas inexplicables en su casa, en vez de atribuirlas a una persona, a un olvido o hasta descuido; cuando pasa algo como que nunca encuentras las llaves, las cosas aparecen en otro lugar, aaaaaa, a huevo hay un fantasma en tu casa, tal vez un chupacabras o hasta un duende travieso cuyo trabajo diario es joderte la vida. Ya saben su día de trabajo consiste en esconder todas tus cosas o cambiarlas de lugar, wey a huevo eso es una criatura mágica, es la explicación más lógica que algunos adultos pueden dar a las cosas.
Todas esas teorías locas sobre seres mágicos o fantasmales, complots gubernamentales, todo eso es más creíble a pensar que tu hermano te está jodiendo la vida y toma tus cosas ya sean “prestadas” o únicamente para joderte, o simplemente olvidas donde pones las cosas. Esas locas teorías siempre son mejor recibidas que la simple realidad.
Pero cuando uno está desesperado queriendo salir a donde sea, la única forma para sacar esa frustración de tu interior es gritar, maldecir, decir groserías y preguntarte de forma metafórica donde están las cosas; así que no entiendo porque chingaos la gente te contesta esa pregunta con la misma pregunta pendeja:
¿Pues dónde lo dejaste?
Wey si supiera dónde está el pinche paraguas, créeme que no haría nada de esto; no es mi hobbie desordenar la casa para darle otro look más ecléctico. De verdad si ves a alguien desesperado en tu casa buscando algo, no preguntes donde lo dejo y mejor hazte wey en tus cosas o también puedes ayudar a buscar, digo, solo es una opción, una idea igual de loca que la teoría del chupacabras escondido bajo tu cama.
Definitivamente hay cosas sin las que no puedes salirte de casa como las llaves, el cel como te lo decía hace rato son un claro ejemplo de cosas imprescindibles, pero hay días en los que la lluvia torrencial hacen que pienses y mucho si te sales nada más con una chamarra para llegar todo mojado o mojada a algún lugar, eso no es nada divertido. Que normalmente yo soy valiente y por la flojera de cargar un paraguas en el metro, en el camión o traerlo conmigo a todos lados me da flojera, por lo que siempre prefiero mojarme, es más cómodo; pero hay un tipo de lluvia en la que si no traes paraguas llegas empapado y esta temporada el único día que llovió así, el pinche paraguas había desaparecido.
Bloguera de hueso colorado desde el 2008. Porqué siempre hay algo que decir yes@elblogdeyes.com
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