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Tal vez la respuesta sincera y honesta sea nunca, y eso de las regadas en el amor, las equivocaciones románticas, los deslices personales, ser friendzonado/a es parte de nuestra naturaleza humana, finalmente equivocarnos, es lo que nos hace humanos. O tal vez, creer que el amor es puro, ideal, magnifico, duradero, leal y supremo, tal vez creer eso, la inocencia e ingenuidad de verdaderamente creer eso, es lo que nos define como humanos tanto como imperfectos.
Tal vez esa sea la clave de nuestra supervivencia y evolución, creer en el amor y así como creemos en ese concepto moderno, o antiguo, ese sentimiento que asociamos con el corazón pero más bien radica en nuestra mente, eso es algo integral de nosotros, tanto creer como cargarla en el amor, algo que nunca podremos separar, el uno del otro, porque amor y regarla en tiempos modernos parecen sinónimos.
Sabes, yo siempre creí que el amor y el arte de amar, era algo que se adquiría con la práctica, aunque bueno, eso no es del todo cierto y muy temprano en la vida, con los cuentos de hadas de Disney, supe que el amor era instantáneo y mágico y con solo ver a mi príncipe azul, sabría que llego el amor verdadero, y en ese momento sabría que tendría que casarme con él.
Lo sé, en la actualidad eso es muy neurótico, o así me lo parece a mí y cualquier mujer que crea que el hombre que acaba de conocer es el amor de su vida y tendría que casarse con él, en tiempos modernos sonaría suicida, no solo para mí, creo que para todos; pero en mi infancia, eso era amor del bueno, al viejo estilo de la Cenicienta e incluso ese tipo de amor evolucionaria en mi adolescencia a la rebeldía siendo Romeo y Julieta el prototipo de amor idea.
Así que pase de los cuentos de hadas a los romances trágicos de Shakespeare y algo tenían en común, ambos prototipos de romance, ambos estaban llenos de errores, mucha emoción y hasta fantasía; pero la constante de esos amores épicos, era errar, era equivocarse y era asumir la grandiosidad del amor para reparar mágicamente cualquier cosa.
Después de esa etapa de mi vida romántica, que conozco como el oscurantismo, después descubrí el psicoanálisis de Erich Fromm y fue en ese momento cuando encontré de forma literal, El Arte de amar, ese largo libro de los años cincuentas, que plantea el amor de una forma realista, pero aún, y este nuevo enfoque más humano y realista de amar, incluso el arte de amar de un psicoanalista, daba mucho espacio a los errores y a cagarla en el amor.
Y conforme crecía, conforme experimentaba, descubrí entonces que tampoco la clave era la experiencia, porque si bien la experiencia te hace más precavido y sabio, esa misma precaución, esas heridas y cicatrices que te evitan vivir, y todo ese equipaje emocional que logras con los años, tantos años de cagadas y embarradas en el amor, te quitan tu capacidad, esa ingenuidad para creer que el amor lo puede todo y entonces, tratando de no cargarla en el amor, terminas incluso cagandola más.
Que confuso no, porque cualquier cosa que hagas, cualquier precaución que tomes, cualquier cosa termina siempre en lo mismo, una gran cagada romántica, una horrible cicatriz, quedarte sin aliento y sin querer saber nada de alguien más.
Seguramente entonces la respuesta a la pregunta cuando dejaremos de cagarla en el amor, sea nunca jamás, porque cualquier cosa que hagamos, termina siempre en lo mismo, un error, una cagada o un corazón roto. Qué bueno, siempre hay que cruzar los dedos para que no sea tu corazón, pero cuando se habla de amor, enamorarse y empezar algo nuevo, es algo que no se puede evitar, eventualmente siempre se rompe el corazón de alguien.
Tal vez por eso, nos hemos hecho tan indiferentes cuando se habla de ese tema, porque ya sabemos que amar, es sinónimo a cagarla y en ese cagamiento, si se pudiera decir de esa manera, siempre, siempre, alguien sale herido.
Pero me pregunto, ¿por qué?, la razón del porqué enamorarse y equivocarse son sinónimos, me parece algo muy curioso, o mejor dicho, algo que debería someterse al método científico, tal vez de esa manera podríamos encontrar la respuesta lógica, y por supuesto que haga sentido, a la ilógica del amor.
Por qué, por más que quieras, cada que comienzas una relación, ya está predestinada a un error fatal, a una gran cagada en el amor, que te deje marcado para siempre; ahora lo bueno, hay relaciones lo suficientemente bizarras o mejor dicho fuertes, que pueden sobrevivir a esas equivocaciones, a esas regadas, a esas cagadas, a esos errores que te alejan de un sentimiento noble y te llevan a la frustración de haberte equivocado.
Tal vez nunca dejaremos de cagarla en el amor, porque seguiremos creyendo que el amor lo puede todo, como en la canción de DLD “SEA”, y como seguimos insistiendo que el amor entre en nuestras vidas, esas cagadas seguirán estando presentes y tal vez el amor no puede existir sin el error.
Ahora, si bien está mal, dejar que nuestros errores pasados nos marquen y nos eviten vivir nuestras locuras románticas, es igual de malo seguir cometiendo los errores que rompieron nuestro corazón o el de alguien más.
Así que la pregunta no debería ser cuando dejaremos de cagarla en el amor sino más bien, cuando dejaremos de cometer los mismos errores que una y otra vez terminan nuestras relaciones románticas. Aunque bueno, esta solo es una reflexión que hago en voz alta y en la que te digo, nunca dejes de creer en el amor y sus inmensas cagadas, porque hacerlo es algo horrible y te lo dice alguien que dejo de creer; y ese sentimiento de que el amor no es más que una serie de cagadas continuas, saber eso, es como saber que las chispas de un helado de chocolate, no son más que compuestos químicos con sabor a chocolate.
Creo que lo más bonito de vivir, es pensar ingenuamente que todo es real y no una composición química de muchas cosas.
Bloguera de hueso colorado desde el 2008. Porqué siempre hay algo que decir yes@elblogdeyes.com
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