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Las mujeres nunca deben dar el primer paso: Este es uno de los varios mitos que deberían de cambiar en el mundo del ligue, según AdoptaUnChico
¿Qué tipo de cosas deberían quedar atrás en el dating? La experta en citas nos comparte algunas de ellas:
“Las chicas nunca deben dar el primer paso”
Entre frases como “date a desear” y “va a creer que eres fácil”, hay un mito sobre el mundo del dating y nuestra forma de ligar que, hasta hoy, sigue marcando el ritmo de muchas relaciones: el hombre es el encargado del “cortejo”.
Pero asumir que él es quien tiene el poder y responsabilidad es aceptar que como mujeres no podemos decidir quién, cuándo y cómo queremos vivir nuestras relaciones. Sin duda, empoderarte y ser quien dé el primer paso es un cambio que te hará disfrutar tus romances de una manera diferente.
La “presión” de cada género
Mientras que los chicos tienen “la obligación” de poner hasta su último centavo para impresionar a su date, las mujeres también pasan por la tormentosa presión de tener que “corresponder” o de producirse de más para verse lindas (cuando muchos chicos hacen, a duras penas, el esfuerzo de ponerse una camisa planchada).
Hablar de un 50/50 en el dating no es despreciar la caballerosidad, pues el problema de fondo no es compartir la cuenta al final de la cena.
El punto importante es que nadie debería sentirse presionado por las expectativas que “tienes que cumplir” según tu género, ni deberíamos tener que cambiar algo de nosotros (personalidad, gustos, forma de vestir, etcétera) solo para sentirnos aceptados.
El sexo como tabú
Ni el sexo en una primera cita elimina las probabilidades de una relación estable, ni esperar a tener una conexión más profunda quiere decir que no hay atracción.
El sexo es parte vital de la química entre dos personas, por lo que disfrutar de tu sexualidad no tiene por qué depender de los prejuicios de otros.
Empezar a comunicarnos de verdad
¿Has sido víctima del ghosting? ¿Cuántas malas excusas has escuchado del tipo “es que he estado súper ocupado” o “perdí mi celular/contactos”? Uno de los cambios que daría un giro de 180° al dating sería que aprendamos a comunicar exactamente lo que queremos sin dar excusas o esconder nuestras intenciones.
Sin necesidad de ser vulgar, cualquier chico o chica puede ser honesto y decir que lo que en verdad busca es solo una pareja sexual o una one stand night. Asimismo, deberíamos poder reconocer que simplemente no hubo clic o que sí buscamos una relación seria porque sabemos exactamente qué es lo que queremos.
Hay mucho más que el “romance tradicional”
Una de las grandes ventajas del romance moderno es que poco a poco nos hemos hecho conscientes de que no existe una sola forma de amar y que deberíamos ser libres de expresar el amor como deseemos.
Pero aún existen ciertos tabúes, prejuicios e ideas que lo limitan. En ese sentido, una de las barreras que tienen que romperse en el dating es aceptar que lo “tradicional” no es la regla y que relaciones basadas en poliamor u otras formas pueden existir sin que se encasillen en la promiscuidad, infidelidad o libertinaje.
Después de todo, es importante aprender que el amor no está hecho para encasillarse ni acomplejarse. Todos tenemos la libertad de decidir cómo y a quién amar.
Bloguera de hueso colorado desde el 2008. Porqué siempre hay algo que decir yes@elblogdeyes.com
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