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Conforme pasa el tiempo en una relación se van perdiendo ciertos aspectos como la magia, la paciencia e inclusive aquello que tanto te gustaba de esa persona puede ser que te empiece a molestar y mucho, esto es algo lógico porque pasando la fase de enamoramiento uno comienza ver una relación con la cabeza y no con el corazón, así es como muy pronto llegan las discusiones, en las que una simple palabra puede funcionar como catalizador para desencadenar una discusión.
Se dice y por expertos que parte del proceso de crecimiento de una pareja es la comunicación y por ende en determinados momentos surgirá siempre una discusión, pero si se hace en términos saludables de dialogo, respeto y negociación una pareja puede madurar; existen muchas técnicas para discutir en pareja, para lidiar con situaciones cotidianas que poco a poco estas dejando de tolerar, pero todo depende de ti y la forma en la que respondes a una discusión.
Ya es muy común ver que una discusión comience por frases tan tontas o ridículas como las siguientes:
• ¿Por qué te busca tu amiga?
• ¿Quién te mando ese mensaje?
• Te reclama por un LIKE en Facebook
Pero debes tener en cuenta que esto lo está externando de una manera sobre proporcional porque muy seguramente ya se ha aguantado por mucho tiempo el sentimiento de abandono o incluso celos. Una forma inteligente de evitar una discusión, porqué si o si cada que tu pareja te dice esto es porque está buscando pelea, tú puedes convertir esta discusión de algo negativo a algo positivo, no se trata de continuar la pelea, se trata de explicar con argumentos lógicos lo que está sucediendo.
Y también debes estar consiente que habrá momentos en donde las discusiones sean razonables, porque la otra persona está en desacuerdo con alguna idea o una forma en la que tú te comportaste, es normal, y si es un reclamo justificado solo te queda ser responsable de tus actos y asumirlos; no se trata de ganar discusiones y enfrascarse en una acalorada discusión sobre quien tiene la razón, sino llegar a un punto medio en el que ambos estén cómodos, nunca trates de obligar a tu pareja que piense de la misma forma que tú.
Debes recordar siempre que hay frases que siempre van a desencadenar un resultado negativo en tu pareja:
• Decirle “Cálmate”.
• Te equivocaste y la llamaste por el nombre de tu ex.
• Hablar sobre algún defecto físico.
• O insinuar temas relacionados con el peso o su físico.
No hay mejor forma para lograr que una persona se enfurezca que con esas pequeñas frases, un claro ejemplo es que pedirle a alguien que se “calme” normalmente trae consigo resultados opuestos a los que se buscan, y cuando se trata de amor se presupone que alguien esta contigo no solo por tu aspecto físico sino por sus ideas o sentimientos, hacer alusiones al físico normalmente terminan en una discusión.
Si quieres discutir con tu novio o novia esas son las formas más prácticas para conseguirlo, pero en cambio si lo que tú quieres es platicar sobre algo que te incomoda, se inteligente y busca una mejor forma de plantear ese problema, que no suene como una agresión o un reclamo infantil, sino más bien una petición honestar y real sobre algo que te molesta.
Bloguera de hueso colorado desde el 2008. Porqué siempre hay algo que decir yes@elblogdeyes.com
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