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Gracias por no aparecer en más de 30 años, ¿vienes hincado o por qué te está tomando tanto tiempo?
En serio, neta, gracias, así como vamos, pues ya pa que te molestas, ¿no?, pero no te apures, yo espero, si ya esperé tanto tiempo, qué más da, además, estoy haciendo tiempo con otras personas, por cierto.
Bien querido amor de mi vida, al principio cuando iniciaba esta carta, debo aceptar que estaba muy molesta y quería ser hiriente, irónica y enviarte mensajes indirectos muy directos sobre tu demora; recuerda amor de mi vida, la paciencia no es una de mis virtudes, y a veces no sé cómo reaccionar a las cosas que no me gustan.
Esa fue la razón de mi mensaje pasivo agresivo inicial.
Pero sabes, mientras escribía esas palabras, está carta/reclamo, mientras lo hacía me puse a pensar en todo lo que ha pasado, en todo lo que hemos hecho, en lo que nos hemos convertido; pero sobre todo me puse a pensar en todo eso bueno que sucedió y me enseñaste incluso estando ausente.
Ya sabes, es muy típico de mi reclamarte siempre por algo que creo injusto, y es tan típico de ti, ser sabio, prudente y callar para permitir que mi pasión, incluso la que se inclina más al lado oscuro, tenga su cauce y pueda hacerme más fuerte.
Así que mientras te escribió esta carta, amor de mi vida, cambio mi reclamo y la visión de tu ausencia.
Ay amor de vida, es que la verdad me has hecho falta y mucha, esa fue la razón inicial por la cual comencé a escribirte, porque estaba enojada y triste por todas esas ausencias que has tenido, todos esos cumpleaños que te saltaste, todas esas celebraciones especiales en las que no me hiciste compañía; pero mi reclamo principal era por todos esos besos, caricias y abrazos que no me has dado y qué tanta falta me hacen.
Querido amor de mi vida, por eso inicie esta carta regañándote y muy molesta, porque he pasado la vida buscándote y entre esas búsquedas he tenido que besar muchos sapos, y sí, ya sabes que odio los clichés, irónicamente tu ausencia me convirtió en uno, la clásica solterona de treinta y tantos, independiente, medio brillante, que no da una en el amor.
Tal vez eso fue lo que más me molesto de tu ausencia, que sin querer queriéndolo me convertí en un estereotipo.
Por eso estaba muy molesta amor, porque estaba desesperada por encontrarte, porque hasta ahora solo te veo y te siento en mis sueños. Algunos debo confesarte, son sueños medio porno, pero bien, no ahondaré en esos sueños, porque si bien ya se me pasó el enojo porque aún no te apareces en mi vida, no es que digamos que estemos muy bien, así que para pasar a ese tipo de acción, tendrás que hacer mucha labor y compensar toda esa falta que me has hecho.
Ay amor de mi vida, vieras tú la falta que me has hecho, y las enormes ganas que tengo de conocerte.
Pero mientras te escribo y me desahogo por todas tus ausencias y la falta que me has hecho, me puse a pensar en algo que nunca antes había analizado y es que me enseñaste mucho no estando conmigo.
Tan típico de ti.
Bien, yo estaba muy molesta al principio porque aún no te has tomado la molestia de aparecer; pero, mientras pensaba en todo lo que hice o, mejor dicho, hago, en lo que llegas, llegue a la conclusión de que ha sido tanto lo que he hecho y como aproveche ese tiempo al máximo, bueno, como lo aprovecho.
Ya tú sabes, yo creo en el poder femenino y la independencia, pero es un hecho que cuando estemos juntos, ya no seré yo, sino nosotros, y vaya, tú sabes que eso me cuesta mucho trabajo; supongo que esa es la razón por la cual has estado haciendo tiempo y no es porque no quieras estar conmigo, seguramente yo te hago tanta falta como tú a mí.
Pero ahora entiendo amor, que me has dado tiempo para aprender, para que yo sea la persona que esté a tu altura y pueda ser una buena compañera.
Porque, aunque tú no te atrevas a decirlo, yo si me atrevo a aceptarlo, tengo y tenía, muchos defectos y el tiempo, y los años me han hecho pulirlos. Yo sé, si hubieras llegado antes, esto no habría funcionado nunca, por eso ahora que lo veo así, si te doy las gracias de corazón; porque ahora comienzo a ser la persona que mereces a tu lado.
Además, tengo muchas otras cosas que agradecer, en vez de reprocharte tu ausencia.
Ese tiempo, que antes me parecía una eternidad, me sirvió para descubrirme, para saber quién soy y que quiero de la vida, pero también tu ausencia me enseñó a valorarte y a darme cuenta cuan valiosos son tus besos, abrazos y miradas, sin que lo hayas hecho.
Y la lista sigue amor, porque ese tiempo también me permitió conocer a mi familia y descubrir ese profundo cariño que les tengo, porque a veces hace falta una vida para amar a las personas que quieres y conocerlas a fondo.
También este tiempo me permitió recorrer muchos caminos, viajar a muchos lugares, descubrir ye explorar y tengo que admitirlo amor, conocer a muchos hombres para darme cuenta que a ti es a quien amo con todo el corazón; tu ausencia me permitió hacer una gran y loca historia de amor con muchos capítulos y deje para cerrar con broche de oro, un gran final, para un emocionante libro, para una gran y loca vida, divertida, extraña, emocionante en la que sé que tengo todo, y no necesito más para ser feliz, pero estando contigo, la vida es plena.
En fin, querido amor, ya no te distraigo con mis palabras, porque sé que ambos todavía tenemos mucho camino que recorrer para encontrarnos y sé que la primera vez que nos veamos será épica y si no te reconozco a primera instancia amor, dame chance, acuérdate que soy muy despistada, eso no se me ha quitado y siempre estoy en la luna, pero por ti me regreso.
Espero encontrarte pronto amor y mientras tanto, pórtate mal y niégalo todo, que yo me haré de la vista gorda, espero lo hagas tú también.
Recuerda te amo con todo mi corazón y espero encontrarte en esta vida, sino, obvio, nos encontraremos en otra.
Bloguera de hueso colorado desde el 2008. Porqué siempre hay algo que decir yes@elblogdeyes.com
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